bullseye, arrows
bullseye, arrows
Life is not a hit or miss proposition.

Accept your fear of failure

Fear of failure is a state of consciousness that we’ve all experienced. If you try something new and fail, you will be the laughing stock of your peers; they’ll feel awkward during your struggle, and even feel pity for you when you stumble.

Fear blocks you from doing what you want

If you fail, you don’t win, you don’t get the prize, and you lose the admiration of the people who matter to you. There’s also the fact that you’ve invested time, effort, and money – assets that are now lost and can never be retrieved again.

Fear of failure often blocks people from doing something that they want to do. Even though facing the fear might console you, it does hinder groups of people to satisfy needs for a lot of other people. Fear of failure can make communities construct systems that are detrimental to all. In fact, failure is not contrary to success, it’s an evaluation of a creative process.

Never fail again

The biggest problem with failure is that it hurts. The humiliation is excruciating, and the lost investment is devastating. The time that a failed venture has kept you away from your loved ones gives you an empty feeling, and the lost money just makes you mad at yourself.

The majority of your life you have tried not to fail again.

As a child, you didn’t know the consequences of your actions, you just did things, and sometimes it went wrong. You did something that made you lose something precious; your action didn’t get applause, it may even have made you look like a fool. Either way, you lost respect or something of value.

Later in life, you’ve been trying to avoid these kinds of feelings. Since then, you’ve tried not to fail again. You’ve stopped experimenting, or you’ve been indoctrinated to do the sensible things. Later in life, you’ll realise that the feeling of remorse for not having tried is stronger than fear. Getting up close to fear is the best way to get over it.

Inner critic

Now a certain feeling has emerged. You’ve got this idea, you’re inspired by something. You’ve thought of something that you’ve got an urge to pursue again. Either way, you’ve got a strong impulse, or a growing need to follow this path, or to take this jump. But then something stops you.

The memory of the demanding voice of a superior person, the ridicule from friends, the contempt of a partner makes you stop. It might only be a slight feeling of distress that makes you choose another course of action..

You put off what you want to pursue until a later time in life, when you’ve got time, when your income allows you, when your mind is not so preoccupied with more pressing things. Over time, you need to learn to let your inner voice be more influential than external influences. Self-belief is a choice.

Your destiny

Some people take action to stop the discomfort of not doing what they want and challenge the fear that they feel. It doesn’t mean that you should suddenly do anything on impulse. It must be something important that makes you change your life. Only something valuable can be the impetus that makes you pursue what you were supposedly destined for.

It requires a lot of introspection to find out what you want to do. To be certain, you need to try out several ideas to feel how they sit with you. If you find something that feels right, focus on the end game to eradicate pessimism. The things you fear are often a large undertaking.

The work to change your life must feel right. It might not be a comfortable sensation because you’re trying something you’ve never tried before and that you haven’t mastered yet. Hold on to your uniqueness and don’t compare yourself to others.

Make it a game

At this point, it’s often a good idea to find the old habit of making it a game, to play and experiment with whatever it is that you want to fill your life. There will be a long line of trials, errors and successes.

"I wonder what happens if…"

A childlike playfulness combined with a more grown-up stoicism will take you from one position in life into not yet discovered territory. The attitude of: "I wonder what happens if…" combined with: "This strategy failed, so let's try something else." Let creative-improvement exercises initiate the game.

Make sure it’s a game that you want to play; you decide the rules. Start small; by consistently achieving positive results you build momentum. You can forecast the future by inventing it.

Accept being afraid

Having gone head to head with your fear and having accepted that it’s part of life, you will have achieved one of the most profound learning experiences a human can have. You won’t necessarily succeed with your objective, but the fact that you’ve challenged your fear is a victory in itself.

Humans are social beings – what we do has an impact on the people around us. We have to be cognizant of our role as part of a network. By seeing other people’s talents and purpose and giving them room to develop their personalities, you contribute to creating environments that also give you the opportunity to acquire the kind of life that you want. If you don’t ridicule people for making mistakes and instead honour their efforts in trying, you create a society where people may flourish.

Will you still feel fear? Yes, of course. Fear is a normal reaction, and sometimes necessary to rescue you from imminent danger. What’s important is to recognise the kind of fear you feel and to challenge it.
Christian Leborg

Christian Leborg

Christian Leborg is a visual communicator and branding consultant. He specialises in building brand strategies and brand identities. Christian has worked with several specializations within visual communication as well as teaching and being an author. Christian now works on his third stint as an entrepreneur.